Tears

I am an emotional basket case.  Yet the truth remains the same: GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME, ALL the time GOD is GOOD!  And as much as I want to throw myself a pity party, I can’t.  I am healthier than many, I have options to take care of this abdominal mass, and bottom line, it could be so much worse.  So for that, I am thankful to be where I am at.  I trust the Lord.  I just want answers faster, I want this mass dealt with and done. I, I, I...I am being pretty selfish.

My pastor’s wife has been battling brain cancer for over a year.  She has been very sick at times, in pain, fighting this fight hard and giving glory to the Lord through it.  A dear friend of mine, only 30 years, old passed away two short weeks ago...HIS family is mourning the loss of a dear son, brother, husband and friend.  WHAT do I really have to whine about?  Instead of crying tears of frustration for myself, wishing the waiting was over and this mass was removed.  I can’t cry for myself as much as I want to because of others close to be in GREATER pain and frustration.  I cry tears of gratefulness that my abdominal mass can be treated, can be removed and life for ME, should go back to normal fairly quickly.  NOT the case for Tami.  NOT the case for Paul’s family.  Tami lives day TO day.  She has been so thankful for this year she has been given, but no one really knows the Lord’s timing.  Paul’s family lived life to the fullest too.  Enjoying every moment they had with Paul, and yet now, all too soon he was called home to the Father and they are missing their son.  Life is ever changing. The Lord sends things into our lives for a reason, I fully believe that.  He doesn’t make mistakes.  His timing is PERFECT.  He is not surprised by these circumstances.  What He asks for is the glory.  That HE be praised in the tough moments and on the mountain tops. 

With that said, that is why I can’t throw myself a pit party.  That is why I can’t invite you to join my pity party.  Where is the glory for the Lord in that?  That puts the focus on me, which is the very thing I attempt to overcome...die to self, that I would whole heartedly follow Christ in all I am, in all I say, and ALL I do.  So, I praise the Lord for today. A day to give glory to HIM in everything.  I pray for my sister Tami fighting her fight gloriously. I pray for my dear siblings in Christ, as they mourn and celebrate the life of Paul. My heart hurts for both stories, because I can’t imagine their task...I can’t, but I can pray for them, love them, encourage them, support them and learn from them...because their lives and stories SHINE JESUS through and through.  They live that Christ would be known...and THAT is beautiful!

So today, my tears are mixed emotions, but bottom line these tears are tears of Joy, that the Lord is in control, and HE so tenderly holds EACH one of us in the palm of HIS hands!  i love HIM. i LOVE Him. I love Him.  I LOVE HIM!

WHOA ARE WE!! *Sarcastically said!*

After going back and forth with this blogger...another gal piped in and this is my response to these gals:

WHOA ARE WE!!!
Since when did any of us DESERVE or have a RIGHT to be married?! Where in scripture does it say we will get married and live happily ever after? Where does it say that we will have that ‘one’ special person in our life to share with until the Lord calls us home?! Where?!!?
I am tired of single people wallowing in their singleness, desiring what is on the other side of the fence. TRUE JOY and CONTENTMENT come in serving the Lord our God, Maker of heaven and earth!!! Seriously…our VERY existence, our very purpose for living is NOT for our own joy, (or marriage) it is to live to make HIM known! To point people to Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Life!!! For some people this is married, HALLELUJAH! For some people married WITH kids, HALLELUJAH!! For some people, married with NO kids, HALLELUJAH!!! For some people this is a longer season of singleness, HALLELUJAH, and for others, singleness until the Lord returns, and that should still cause for a HALLELUJAH!! Our purpose and desire of the heart should be TO be so in love with Christ, to desire to know Him MORE and MORE and MORE and MORE, and to make Him known through our actions, that however the Lord determines our future, we give Him praise for it! Don’t get me wrong. MY HEART HURTS, and many tears have fallen over still being single!! I want to be married!! And I was almost married!! Let me get a little personal with you: I was engaged to a man, and only a couple months from the actual day of getting married to the one I loved, cherished and knew so well, the Lord made it clear, this was not right. I can’t describe to you the battle that went on in my heart over this! ‘Get married…you can just push aside what the Lord desires…and you can push your way through this marriage, just buck up! You will at least have the American dream…a marriage!’ Those were my thoughts! Well, I battled with the Lord on this and my flesh SO desired to be married, SOOO bad!!! I almost went through with it! But let me tell you the reward came (NOT without great sorrow, hurt, and tears) when I submitted my heart to the LORD, and did what HE wanted me to do…call it off! Do you know how many people had already bought gifts? Someone even made us a wedding quilt! DO you know I had my dress, flowers, etc…do you know what it is like to disappoint THAT many people? Not to mention this man with whom I had planned out the rest of my life with!! It was SO hard! So hard! And yet, I will NEVER forget the Peace, the peace that passes ALL understanding that I felt when I obeyed the Lord!! When I finally obeyed! Let me tell you: the blessings through that time and that followed, even years later are countless, after the heart ache of course!! And ladies and gentlemen, since that step of faith and obedience over 12 years ago, I can honestly say, with tears of JOY, I wouldn’t change the outcome for the world!! WHY!?? Because my Savior SO loves me and draws me to Himself EVERY day, and His plan is best!! Did it hurt? Absolutely!! Was it hard? Absolutely! But now, I have the choice to live joyfully with where the Lord has me, or I can live bitter, wishing every second that I was married to that man. And, I will say, until the day I die…I choose Christ first!! Even through that pain, I would choose to obey Christ again, than to not be where the Lord wants me. Married or not. My point being, serving and living for Christ first, is worth more than ‘being married’. And by all means, you can still serve and live for the Lord married, but don’t let what you don’t have hinder your serving and living for the Lord! Yes, my nephews ask me why I am not married! Almost every time I see them! My 9 year old sister asks me why I am not married. And you know my answer? It points right back to the Lord. “The Lord hasn’t brought me a man, that as a team, we can continue to build the kingdom. But as I wait, I serve the Lord.” And then of course I jokingly ask them, “Do you know someone for me?!” And they giggle!! And you know what…what an opportunity to be a living example of Christ to these young lives!! To be able to show that living for Christ is better than to settle for the wrong guy! Don’t get me wrong. I want badly to be married! I literally, in my home, imagine what it would be like if I had a husband to cook dinner for. I imagine him coming home from work, planting a kiss on my forehead and asking about my day. I imagine dropping by a special lunch to his place of work, and I even imagine those tiffs we would have over the silly toilet paper roll…and I desire all of that. I want that. And yet this season of singleness is such a blessing to reach out and bless others. And through doing that, the blessings that come my way are immeasurable!! GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD!! EVEN in my singleness. The desire for marriage is there, but I choose to live in JOY as a single, today!
So my suggestion? Whether you take it or not…grow closer the Lord our God. You can’t go wrong getting to know HIM more and more. And HE WILL give you the desires of your heart…because HE will change those desires to line up with HIS, which are the best ones, EVER!! For me, my desire is to please and obey Him, no matter what! I hope and pray that that includes marriage one day, but because my desire is to please Him, that really is an after thought of loving Him, and making Him known!
My challenge: reach out to other singles that might be feeling the same way as you, reach out to the single elderly lady that needs encouragement, reach out and bless those around you. Cause do you want to be known as the ‘single person who is stuck in moping’ or the ‘single person that lives beyond themselves’ serving and living whole heartedly after God? And really when we meet our Savior face to face, it’s NOT going to be a question of: “Did you get married?’ It will be: ‘How did you serve ME?’ (single OR married) This doesn’t take away our hurt or our wants, but it changes our perspective!!
Psalm 62:5 “Find rest, O my soul, in God ALONE; my HOPE comes from Him!”
And, from one single to another, I am praying for YOU!!
Love and prayers,
Beckie

Singleness

The following is a reply to a bloggers comment on an article about singleness.  A gal had sent me a link to the article and the text that went with the link was a huge blessing.  Anyway, after reading the blog, I read the comments, and had to respond to one.  So, below is the comment, and my response.

COMMENT:

As always, there's good stuff here.  But I'm still looking for a bit more hands-on advice.  How do you use your struggle "to push you closer to Him"? How do you "surround yourself with people who hope and believe for the same things you are hoping and believing for" when almost everyone around you is married with kids?  It's a lot easier said than done.

MY RESPONSE:

After reading the blog and comments, your comment stood out to me.  I don't know you, you don't know me, but we obviously share singleness.  I don't have all the answers, but your paragraph really hit home with me, it has so many truths in it!  SO many!  So, I respond to your comment in love and respect!  

First, to answer how do you use your struggle "to push you closer to Him"?  I still have better days than others with this one, but the Lord is pretty cool, in that He knows our hearts better than anyone and knows just how to draw us closer.  It looks different for everyone. I am in my mid thirties, and mentor many younger gals ages 19 through late 20's. The Lord uses these gals in my life in more ways than I can tell you in this comment.  But, what I am trying to say is, if you invest in others, be that living example of what a single person living for the Lord looks like, the Lord draws you closer to Himself.  Let me share an example; this article.  One of the precious gals I mentor sent me the link to this article.  Little did she know that very day, I was discouraged and asking the Lord again, 'why am I still single?'.  She shot me the link and in her text said, 'YOU are this person to me!'  Honestly, tears formed in my eyes the moment I read her text because I knew the LORD was the instigator of this text, and HE knew my heart was needing encouragement at that moment, and used this gal for His purpose!  And in that moment, I knew the Lord was drawing me closer to Him by saying, "My child, I have NOT forgotten about you, and look at how I, the Great I Am, is using you in the lives of others at this stage.  Be encouraged."  And so, in that moment, I drew closer to the Lord, and in my heart said, "Yes Lord, in my singleness today, I will still live for YOU.  Thank You for the reminder!"  For me, part of drawing closer to the Father, is by investing and serving these other singles.

Second, as far as surrounding yourself with people that hope and believe for the same things...that are NOT married? with kids?  They are everywhere...the marrieds with kids and unmarrieds.  One thing I have done is prayed for these people, the singles. Yes, I have prayed the Lord would put these people in my path, that I would be able to connect them to others in the same stage of life as myself.  And when I have prayed that, I can't tell you the number of people the Lord has brought out of the wood work.  People come and go, but it has been a blessing to connect others, to see people looking, desiring, needing fellowship with others in this same phase. (A phase most of us didn't think would last this long) And, to be honest, the Lord has done some pretty funny things. (people getting married out of these fellowships, which causes me to question yet again, why am I still single?!  BUT the Lord reminds me that I have a purpose for HIM, that only I can do, this is beautiful, and if that is connecting people for fellowship and friendships, and marriages develop, than I need to keep doing what the Lord is asking me to do)  Sorry, I digress. Anyway, I continue to reach out to others in this same boat, I mentor those younger than myself, and through the struggles, through the moments of hurt, the longing of a spouse, I will continue to serve the Lord, trusting His greater plan, even when I can't see it and I am frustrated.  For HE knows my heart, and draws me closer to Him in my weaker moments.  

Please don't hear me wrong either, this is not all butterflies and rainbows.  My heart hurts too. But, when I have the chance to encourage someone with what the Lord has done for me, being single in my 30's, I am all over it!  God put believers here to encourage one another, to challenge each other, and to share life together!  I could share more stories of the ups and downs and I love to write so I apologize for the lengthiness of this, but will refrain from sharing more God stories. :)  

So, I will end with this: Be you.  Be the YOU God, the Creator, made YOU to be.  No one else can be who you are, do what you do, see what you see, love like you love.  And through it all, find a way to bring glory to God, in the joyful times and in the sorrowful times!  Today, for me, that means even in my singleness I will try my best to bring glory to the LORD! 

"I will BLESS the LORD at ALL times; HIS praise shall CONTINUALLY be in my mouth!! ... Those who look to HIM are RADIANT, and their faces shall NEVER be ashamed!" Psalm 34:1; 5

Sin is ugly. Life is tough. I want a husband. Blah!

This was actually written on 7/16/2014, but wasn't online until today to post it.

I am frustrated beyond belief! Sin is ugly.  Life is tough.  I want a husband. Blah!

Yet, my heart is broken and humbled before the Lord, AGAIN.  Recently I have struggled with the Lord.  There is scripture that says it is better for man to be married than to burn with  passion.  I am burning.  I want a husband.  I want a godly, God-fearing, one woman, on fire to serve the Lord man!  These are not easy to come by these days.  So then I get frustrated again at God.  WHERE ARE THEY!?  Where are parents like mine that have raised a man to be a MAN!  To be this God-fearing, leader, one woman, serving the kingdom man?  I am tired of these men that play video games all day, of these men that live at home with their parents, or not at home but have their mom still do their laundry, (mom’s: STOP!! It appears to be helpful, but you are enabling them to be LAZY! YES, LAZY!!), these men that say things without realizing the value of their word, that can’t even keep their word, these men that treat every gal ‘special’ and then can’t believe why the girl thought she was ‘special’.  These men that can’t make up their mind, that can’t commit to even a simple event.  A yes or no will work.  We are big girls, and would rather a solid answer than to be strung along, whatever the event/activity.  I don’t care if you are a friend or a boyfriend, let your yes be yes and your no be no.  BE A MAN of your word!  Rather you offend us with kind truth, than to lie and deceive.  If you don’t mean it, don’t say it!  BE all God has asked you to be!!  I could go on, but where my frustration lies is I want, I desire to be married!  (yes, there are a lot of “I’s” in that statement, I am getting there.)  And yet, even if the Lord saw fit for me to get married…WHO?  Who among the men I know are ready for something as serious as marriage, for a, ready for this, the “C” word is coming, COMMITMENT? These men are being coddled, and lazy.  They are getting away with not saying what they mean, or sticking to what they say.   So, when I say this, I look around.  And the men that surround me are fun to hang out with, but to a point!  When a man can’t make a decision and stick to it, even the simple task of ‘hanging out’ becomes daunting.  “They said yes, they agreed, but will they truly show up?”  Those are thoughts going through my head.  When you say yes, the plan includes YOU!  And it sure would be courteous, polite, respectful and descent if you would call and let us know your plans changed. AND to have a legit reason. Not, “I didn’t feel like it”.  If you didn’t feel like it, you should have thought about that BEFORE you ever said yes!  There is nothing wrong with saying, “I will think about it and get back to you”…but then GET back to us!  YES or NO!  Oh, I digress.  Anyway, I don’t see the potentials out there.  I know, and I have faith beyond a shadow of a doubt they are out there, those men of integrity, that stand by what they say, are trustworthy, don’t live at home, know how and do their own laundry and dishes, can make up their mind and go for it, are indeed out there.  And PRAISE the Lord for them!  PRAISE HIM!

So, then, comes the part where I am not God. God is God.  AMEN!  And in the heat of my frustration and anger, the Lord says, “YOU, my child cannot change them.  YOU, my child are called to live FOR Me.  To obey ME.  That means to love these lazy son of a guns, to respect these liars even when that is the least of the things you want to do.  YOU my child, look inward, clean YOUR heart, re-focus those beautiful brown eyes of yours on Me.  You my child do burn and desire to be married…and I am it!  I AM.” 

And so the Lord has shown me in some pretty unique, humbling ways of this.  I happened across a love note from my fiancé of years ago.  And it said, “You know what happened 3,255,326 seconds ago?  I fell in love with you!” It reminded me what being pursued looks like!  It reminded me when a man loves a woman, he will go after her, he will pursue her, and he will woo her. Another example of God’s intense love for me…I was reading a blog, and it shared about an email her husband sent her when she was struggling in her love and acceptance from him.  The email excerpt said: “You are beautiful and I love you.  But that cannot be your confidence.  It must be in the truth of the Gospel which says you are clean and new.  Help her believe this, Lord!”  And this one gave me two reminders.  First it was as if the Lord was saying, You, Becky, are beautiful and I love you!  THAT should be your confidence.  And the second one, was the mere fact that this man pointed his bride to Christ.  AMEN! Away from himself!  THAT is a man I am looking for.   A selfless, God-fearing, servant hearted man! 

I thank the Lord for these examples, the reminders, the heart wringing truths, that I didn’t seek, look for or even knew I needed.  That is the tender hearted Savior right there!  SO, I am still frustrated at the world, the lack of parents raising men to be MEN, the lack of men stepping up and being men, and my lack of patience and faith with my heavenly Father.  Yes, I just said it.  MY lack of patience and faith.  Remember a couple paragraphs ago where it was full of “I’s”? Well, I know I am frustrated at people.  But it is NOT a one way street here.  I am no perfect wife-to-be.  I have work that needs to be done.  As Matt Chandler says:  “Where the gospel of Jesus Christ is fully and faithfully preached…strong, gifted, driven women flourish.  They are drawn to it and they flourish. Nothing has done more for the welfare, the growth, and the flourishing of women in this culture than the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Nothing.”  Whew!  Yes, I have got to get deeper into the gospel of Jesus!  That I would flourish!  Flourish for Christ!

So, this might not have ended as I thought it should or how I want it.  However, the Lord has reminded me, yet AGAIN, to trust Him.  To love people as He loves them.  Put myself aside, and love!  There is no regret in freely loving people without expectation.  I can’t change people, but I can change how I love, and to love unconditionally, letting my God be my Defender, my Comfort, my Judge.  He will take care of how people treat me.  I don’t have to.  So I can live freely!

Thank You Lord for your patience with me!  For Your unconditional love!  May You fill me up to overflowing that I would overflow onto other people.  Help me let go of my desires, my wants, my my my my my…that I would be all for YOU YOU YOU YOU!  Oh how I love you!  I praise You!  To YOU be the glory!  And may I give You the glory due Your name!  I ask this in the powerful, holy, all knowing, all caring name of Jesus Christ, Amen!!!

True Friend

Lord, right now I am beyond frustrated with people.  Oh how I want to throw my hands up, shut everyone out, and be done with them.  It is REALLY interesting to sit back, and to have stopped with Overflo back in March, and I can count on ONE hand how many times I have been invited to something.  Really?!  Yes, I LOVE to put events together, I LOVE to host, I love it!  LOVE!  But, it shows who true, real friends are…because those that are true friends would invite me to join them.  It hurts.  Really?  Am I just used as a gathering place, used as an organizer to put these things together, and a common place to meet with other people?  And when I don’t put it together, am I not worth of inviting?  I don’t want sympathy invites either.  I just want it reciprocated!  Ugh, why?!  And on the flip, cause YOU O, LORD, have the last say every time, whether I agree or not…would be to stop wallowing in this misfortune of other peoples lack of awareness, and rejoice in the fact I am able to use the home the Lord gave me, the gift of hospitality the Lord gave me, the gift of organization the Lord gave me, to join people together, to open the door of opportunities for people to get together.  Ugh.  Yes, I get it Lord, but where’s that ‘true’ friend?  The one that is open in the joyful, happy times, and the one that is just as open when times are tough and rough.  Where is the friend that laughs AND cries with me?  Where is the friend that invites me as much as I invite them?  Oh Lord, I know You fit all of these descriptions beyond my beyond. I am grateful. My expectations should be lowered.  For only You, will NEVER let me down. You always invite me to spend time with You.  You cry when I cry, You laugh when I laugh, You listen all the time.  Lord, You are my everything.  I should be grateful, and continue being what You have asked me to be.  A true friend to others.

Thanks Lord!

Is Dancing a sin?

Recently I was told at a wedding I attended, by a friend in a joking manner, that dancing is a sin. So, I asked this person to show me where in scripture it states dancing is a sin. As we parted ways, I Peter 1:13-16 is the passage they shared with me to look up and read about dancing being a sin. So, below is the scripture and my conclusion of whether dancing is a sin or not.

I Peter 1:13-16

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in ALL you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy'.”

So, here we go:

Based on this scripture, it states to prepare your minds for action, be self controlled and as obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  Here are some definitions to clear the air about what words means:

Prepare: make ready.

Self Control: the ability to control oneself, in particular one's emotions and desires or the expression of them in one's behavior, especially in difficult situations.
Obedient: complying with orders or requests; submissive to another's will.
Evil: profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity.
Desires: a strong feeling of wanting to have/do something or wishing for something to happen.
Ignorance: lack of knowledge or information. No knowing.
Holy: dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred.
All: the whole of one's possessions, energy, or interest.
Feel free to re-read these definitions when referenced below.

Ready?  Digging in, starting with the beginning of the passage: prepare your minds for action, to be ready to move.  Action isn’t staying in the same place.  It is evaluating and changing.  So, dancing…is it sin?  Well I start with self control, to control oneself, yes.  But that is relevant….as each self-controlled person can look differently. Some people being stricter than others in their self-control yet, there is always room for growth, and others, appearing to be relaxed in their self-control.  So, one could think that controlling oneself in the realm of dancing, could be interpreted as NO dancing.  That right there is self-control.  Just say no.  But, scripture doesn’t directly say NO dancing.  So then one might pick up on “evil desires” and it could be miss-interpreted: dancing is an evil desire, therefore use self-control and don’t dance.  However, it still doesn’t directly say that dancing is evil, or is an evil desire.  So we cross reference into God’s Word deeper, to other scriptures which talk about dancing. 

In the book of I Samuel, it talks about the people dancing when Saul slayed thousands and David slayed tens of thousands.  Ecclesiastes talks about a time to mourn and a time to dance.  Jeremiah specifically states: “Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and OLD as well.  I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”  In Psalms there are many places that talk about dancing, unto the Lord.  And then, there are the passages where dancing isn’t such a joyful experience: in Mark it speaks of a seductive type of dance a girl did to be tricky.  However, again, on the positive side of dancing, Judges talks of where young women were dancing as a celebration.  And again in 2 Samuel, David danced before the Lord with ALL his might.  And people despised him because of his leaping and dancing before the Lord.  And the case in Luke where there was music and dancing for the lost son whom had returned.  The positive examples of dancing are in some sort of form of celebrating or unto the Lord.  There is a purpose for this dancing, and it is glorifying and honoring.  The negative dancing is seductive, and leads to betrayal.  Not glorifying to the Lord.

As you probably are already aware, there is a mix of types of dancing described in the Word of God.  And I would conclude, based on the variety of scripture that not ALL dancing is a sin, and you look at the heart of the people participating in the dancing, and there is where the issue lies.  Moving back to the I Peter passage, to ‘evil desires’, evil desire is in one’s heart.  It is the motive, the heart of the issue.  What desires does the heart have in the style of dancing one is participating in? Well, it says ‘do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance’.  So, once one comes to know the Lord as their personal Savior, their eyes and hearts have been opened to the Truth, and one should no longer desire the ways of the world, which are evil.  So, the ‘desires’ that were there should change. And to prepare our minds for action, we should be ready to receive this change of the Lord. This takes me to the next point, living for the Lord, called to be holy.

This particular passage ends with “Just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in ALL you do; for it is written; ‘Be holy, because I am holy’.”   Well, that sums it all up.  We have been called to be holy, as HE is holy.  And to be holy in ALL we DO.  (Re-read the meaning of ‘holy’ and ‘all’) this doesn’t leave much room for misinterpreting.  It says to be HOLY in ALL you do.  ALL you do, which would be dancing, working, tattooing, drinking, relationships, etc. Does the activity to which one participates in produce holiness?  Is one holy when dancing?  Which then also opens another can of worms?  Example: attending a baseball game.  Since we are to be holy in ALL we do.  Is attending a baseball game then a sin? Is it helping one to be holy? This could be a legit argument!  Which then I ask, what in the world are we allowed to do, for this world is full of ‘unholy’ activities.  And I am reminded by the part of this I Peter scripture that says, ‘Set your hope FULLY on the grace to be given to you WHEN JESUS CHRIST is REVEALED’.   As Jesus is revealed, grace is given for the desires I succumbed to before He was revealed.  Since He has now been revealed to us, our desires change to be holy, making righteous choices. And when we came to know the Lord, our minds were then being prepared to take action, to be self-controlled in these actions, setting hope on the grace the Lord gives, AS He is revealed.  And as HE is revealed, we are to be obedient children, no longer conforming to the evil desires we had as ignorant people, unaware the Lord had called us to be holy. So now that we are called and know we are to be holy, we can no longer participate in evil desires. So, is baseball an evil desire?  Is baseball evil?  Is dancing evil?  My answer to this would be no.  These ‘things’ are not evil.  It is the desire, the underlying desire which is evil.  Is your desire to attend a baseball game to get hammered?  Is your desire in dancing to seduce someone?  Or is your desire in attending the baseball game, which in itself isn’t evil, to invite someone to get to know them, in order to ultimately point them to Jesus?  That He may get the glory for the action?  Is your desire in dancing to give the Lord glory, because you can’t keep silent about all He is and is doing? The item at hand is NOT the sin.  It is the heart, the desire to do the item which can be the sin. For Matthew5:19 says:  “For out of the heart come evil thoughts-murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”  Out of the HEART comes the evil.  But then, controversy comes up.  The Lord, has given us free wills, which unfortunately means we will all make different decisions.  It really comes down to the heart of the matter, the desire.  Where is ones heart in their relationship with the Lord?  Are they truly seeking Him?  Desiring to make Him known?  Desiring to be holy, because He has called us to be holy?  If we are, our actions will point to Jesus, and we won’t participate in the things of this world which are borderline ‘evil desires’.  We would flee what looks to be evil.  Desiring to please the Lord should be the goal. Which would conclude, unless ones dancing is unto the Lord, or it is with their spouse, general dancing with other people, is not pleasing to the Lord. And if it is not of the Lord, it would be wrong, which is technically a sin.

So then more questions arise, drinking? Is it a sin?  Scripture says not to get drunk.  So, is one drink wrong?  Well, again, when we are His children, and when our desire should be to please Him, to obey Him, and when He clearly states over and over we are called to be holy, to live holy, to be holy as He is holy, our spirit should so desire to obey, we free ourselves of the questions, we don’t live to push how close we can get before it is ‘technically’ a sin!  As it says in 2 Timothy 2 “Flee the evil DESIRES of youth (before you knew the Lord) and PURSUE (to follow; chase) righteousness, faith, love and peace, ALONG with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart!!” Because of the Holy Spirit living in us, we should desire so strongly to obey and please Him and to live Holy that we don’t even come close to the border of these sins. Instead of pushing the limit, one should strive to to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace!!

There ya have it.  Where is one’s heart?  Truly following and seeking the Lord?   Then that will define your dancing along with everything you do.

“Let them praise His name with DANCING and make music to HIM with tambourine and harp!” Psalm 149:3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

Miraculous happy endings?!

I have come across many miracle blogs in my days, and they bring tears to my eyes to realize the greatness of the faith of these people and the answer to their prayers. And ultimately the power and glory of God through them all! I notice how they praised the Lord even when they didn’t want to, through the journey, and I also notice by the end of the blog their biggest hurt, their biggest fear, their biggest desire is often many times answered, satisfied, or completed. People unable to have children struggle through years of testing, highs and lows and then, praise the Lord, a child is conceived and born. There are people who long to find a spouse and wait on the Lord for years for the right one, experiencing hurts and heartbreaks themselves, and again, praise the Lord, a wedding takes place. And other stories/situations that have a happy ending. Yet, what about those still out there. Still praying, still trusting the Lord, still hurting, but the end of their blog is not a happy ending? An answer to a long time prayer? Maybe it hasn’t ended how they desire or want it to? What about those that still desire so deeply to have children, yet are still in the valley of infertility. What about those whom still want to wake up next to a spouse, that want to grow old with that one special person? Yet still finds themselves alone? What about those blogs? It says to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep. Today, I weep with those who weep.

Questions arise in the hearts of those still praying. Have I done something wrong? Am I praying enough? Am I missing something? Will the answer I am looking for ever come? What’s wrong with me? Compromise? Press on? Give up? Who cares anyway?

And yet, the God I serve is SO mighty, so in love with ME, so desires the best for me, I have to continue to pray. I continue to seek the Lord. I continue to obey Him (not always), but I come back to Him. Many times I desire to take things into my own hands and just do my own thing. But I know this is wrong. For God’s word is truth, and He will never leave me or forsake me. (Deut. 31:8) He cares for me. (1 Peter 5:7) He knew every day of my life BEFORE I ever came to be. (Psalms 139:16) These are BIG truths. And they cover the area of a spouse, of having children; of…you fill in your blank. He’s got me. He’s got YOU! Tenderly, gently, lovingly, He’s got us!! Bad days, good days, happy days, sad days, every day…His joy completes me.

I still long, I still pray, and I still trust the Lord to do with me what He will, and know in my heart, even if my actions don’t always show it, that His ways are best. I will trust, obey and wait. (“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my GOD, in whom I trust.’” Psalm 91:2 “Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in You!” Psalm 84:12 AND “the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise HIM!” Psalm 28:7)

This blog doesn’t end with the happy story of ‘I am in the most romantic relationship with the most godly man ever, and we are about to get engaged’. No. That is not the end of this blog. BUT, it doesn’t end sad either. Yes, I long for that. But today the blog ends with the contentment and joy of the Lord, even when I want to be bitter and mad. The ‘happy’ ending of this blog is that Christ is my all, and whether I completely agree with HIS idea of what is best for me or not, I KNOW in my heart, the plans HE has for me, are the best plans. In my tears, in my smiles, in my pain, in my rejoicing, HE will be my everything! I end with the lyrics to one of my favorite praise songs by Tim Hughes (click on the link to hear the song, and I suggest just closing your eyes and listening to the words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bhJHMoDsdE  I have modified the verses below so they don’t repeat like they would as if we sang it. And the emphasis is mine) Enjoy! 

“Everything” by Tim Hughes

God in my living, there in my breathing

God in my waking, God in my sleeping
God in my resting, there in my working
God in my thinking, God in my speaking

Be my everything, be my everything!

God in my hoping, there in my dreaming

God in my watching, God in my waiting
God in my laughing, there in my weeping
God in my hurting, God in my healing

Be my everything, be my everything!

Christ in me, Christ in me

Christ in me, the hope of glory
YOU are everything!

BE my everything, be my everything!

YOU are everything, You are everything!!

JESUS IS EVERYTHING!!

Rainbow, God's unending promise to us!

ZRT Girl Camping Trip June 20-22, 2014

Ladies, God is good all the time, ALL the time God is good.

I have prayed about this weekend, and I am SO blessed to be here, right here, right NOW, with each of you! I prayed the Lord would bring who HE wanted, I prayed He would speak to each of us as we slowed down this weekend and just basked in HIS creation! No cell phones, no emails, no TV, no media…just each other, AND the CREATOR Himself. I prayed the Lord would show me scriptures to share, songs to sing, and stories to proclaim HIS goodness. And I have to say, going into Thursday morning, I wasn’t confident at what the Lord wanted me to show, to share. Yes, I have pulled different scriptures about Him being our ROCK, which are powerful, and I will share them with you. But as I was heading to work on Thursday morning, the Lord made it VERY clear what HE wanted ME to share with YOU!

You know lately our weather has been pretty rainy, which is sooo good. We have been in drought for years, and so the moisture is much needed! And to see everything so green is amazing! With that the garden I planted needs moisture, the rain water has nutrients that can’t be reproduced by man, and the power of that water is amazing! EVEN though the sun hasn’t shown as much as I think it should to make the garden grow, despite MY thoughts, my garden has BLOSSOMED with this natural, nutrient filled rain water. NOT kidding, things doubled in size in one day! So, as I headed to work on Thursday morning, there in the west sky was a very light, distant, partial rainbow…as I neared Shiloh Rd, it grew almost fainter, but, I dug for my camera and snapped a picture anyway. As I turned onto Shiloh and headed north, the rainbow grew, in brightness and in size. It was about the time I got to Emmanuel Baptist Church, that it got brighter yet! The rainbow was directly over the church! And as I went by, I thought…capture that…capture that picture, the promises of GOD are covering HIS people, His church, ME! But, it was too late, and I had already passed the church, yet I really felt the prompting to get this on ‘film’. So I went to the roundabout at Central Ave, and circled around, yes, I was going to be late for work now, but I needed to capture this on my camera for some reason. As I turned around, the rainbow turned into a FULL rainbow arch! The awe of my Savior grew! I took a few pictures and got back on track to head to work. Well, as I kept going north, God kept increasing the rainbow! It was now a full arch, bright, and a double appeared! As I drove along Shiloh, the dark sky behind the brightly colored rainbow, the glowing green farmers fields in front of it, and then the old barn and broken wooden fence…the picture was sooo perfect, such colors, and beauty. (I did not capture this on my camera as I didn’t want to cause an accident, so this picture will have to stay engraved in my mind.) It was incredible. And I asked the Lord, does anyone see this but me? Anyone?! The Lord drew me to His Awesomeness with this rainbow, and I praised Him…on the radio played, I’m tired, I’m worn, my heart is heavy…which is true, this world is a battlefield for the Believer, and it gets tiring to keep fighting. Yet, these two magnificent rainbows reminded me of God’s promises…one, He will not destroy the earth with a flood, and second, of another one of His promises, He will never leave me, He will never forsake me. EVER. Promise made, promise kept. And that goes for all the other promises in His word…Promises by the Lord our God will NEVER be broken! EVER!

Well, the story doesn’t end there. I got to work still gasping at this rainbow…and I called a gal on the west end to have her take a look at this morning rainbow too…in all of its beauty and to point her to the Creator who made it…and to encourage her to carry on!! That someone else would be blessed by this spectacular sight! She said it made her day. Well ladies, that rainbow stuck around…and around…and around…and around…and around…the arch got shorter, and narrower, but I kept looking to the west to see it…and as it hung around…I was in more awe…and crazy enough… I was able to see that rainbow from the first faint glow of colored stripes at 7:45 until the buildings hid it when it dropped so low I couldn’t see it at 9:15!!! I have NEVER experienced a rainbow that stuck around for an hour and a half! Usually a rainbow is something you catch a glimpse of, watch it for a few minutes, and then it fades away. Not this day. Today the Lord encouraged me and it was as if He said…”Daughter, nothing is beyond me, I am your Living water that nourishes unlike anything or anyone in this world, I am your solid Rock, and you will NOT be shaken when you stand firm on My word, and hold fast to My hand! These are not mere words, but these are the promises I have given to YOU! I do not falsely speak, and I mean what I say. As evidence and a reminder of these truths, today, I gave you My rainbow(s) as a visual, I am here, I promise! And yes, the rainbow faded, but I, I will NOT fade, My truth remains, My promises true. I am your ROCK, lift your eyes up, and keep them fixed on Me!!”

Ladies, our God is our Rock, and as we can hear the river raging OVER the rocks, they do not move. They are solid, (how much more solid is Christ) and the picture of the water washing over them…the Living Water, is also our God. He washes us clean, He sustains us, He fills us, that we would splash this Living Water on others, and be contagious! Christ contagious! So, as I look at this weekend, and the purpose to be refreshed, to relax, to be renewed, the Lord has brought it full circle…for: On Christ the solid Rock we stand, all other ground is sinking sand…for He has washed us clean with and we drink the Living Water, we are refreshed, renewed! Oh, what a glorious picture indeed!! Indeed!

Genesis 1:31 says, "And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was VERY good.  And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day."

Psalm 8:3-6, "When I consider the heavens, the work of HIS fingers, the moon and the stars, which He has ordained, what is man, that Thou dost take thought of him?  And the son of man, that He dost care for him?  Yet God has made him a little lower than God, and has crowned him with glory and majesty!  He does make him to rule overthe works of His hands; He has put ALL things under his feet!"

 

A daughter of the King,

Becky

Life. Ugly. Beautiful. People. Words. Tongue. Faithful?

Today was rough.  My flesh won. It was an ugly battle. In the end, Christ-like love came out, there was one little beam of Christ’s Light, and it grew.  THANKFULLY, HE who is in me is greater…and the VICTORY was ours, together, my Savior and I.  AMEN! 

Work has been extra stressful, and today I snapped.  Yup, Becky Crabtree snapped.  Was it pretty?  NO!  Was it worth it? NO!  Am I proud? Absolutely NOT! Did I apologize?  Yes!  Did I learn my lesson?  I sure hope so!  I don’t want to see the side of Becky for a long time.

Life is tough!  But as I reflect on today, and where I, Becky, went wrong…it is the pure fact I expected an unbeliever to live like a believer!  I forgot to have grace and to see her as a being that doesn’t live for anyone but herself.  She doesn’t know the Lord in a personal way.  She is living for her #1.  I can’t expect her to live any differently.  And I gave in.  I snapped back.  I did not love her.  The grace was not pouring forth.  Selfishness ‘popped’ out of my mouth so quickly.  Wrong. I was wrong. I had to apologize for snapping.  NO matter how she treats me, no matter what she says to me, NO MATTER what, I need to love her.  I need to give more grace.  I need to live as an example of Christ.  And HE did NOT lash out…even when He was hurting, deeply.  He loved. He lived for His Father.  He is the ultimate example.  He NEVER gave up…no matter how strong the negative nagging of this world!  THANK goodness.  Thank YOU Father for the example.  Thank you for the reminder today. For humbling my attitude to apologize.  May I shine Your light.  I am sorry for letting you down!  Continue to refine me. AMEN!

Today starts a new adventure.  This one might not seem super exciting to some people, but to me, it is overdue and I am excited.  This journey will be tough, with MANY challenges ahead!  I will struggle.  I will probably fail at times.  However, I WILL be victorious. 

 

The journey: Live life well! (spiritually and physically)

 

So, what this means is to first, to spend MORE time with my Savior!  Growing more in love with Him, which obedience will follow because of my love and dedication to LOVING HIM!  Second, to eat healthy, and in MODERATION.  This will be tough, because the flesh is weak, which points back to my number one, growing in love for the Lord, obeying His desire, which then I die to flesh.  Oh it is SO intertwined! And lastly, to get active again!  I MISS IT!!

 

Today is day one.  Yes, gung-ho and ready!  The encouraging quote on my daily desk encouragement is fitting:  “May the Lord give you and unwavering confidence that you CAN do ANYTHING HE calls you to do , and it WILL be blessed!”  Oh I have sensed Him calling me to do this for quite some time, but my rebellious heart has gotten in the way, and I quite frankly, haven’t wanted to obey. (how’s that for real & open?  Rebellious?  I should say so!)  But the Lord revealed to me through speaking for the Women’s Spring Fling last month, that when I set my mind to something of the Lord, I desire to do it completely and utterly for Him! And to do it well.  It showed me that ‘I can’!  So, I can get deeper into His word, I can get healthy again, I can feel better, because it is of the Lord.

 

As I have been taking a nursing class, it has also revealed to me just how the body truly works.  IT IS AMAZING!!  BUT, it has also shown me just how I have been abusing my body.  NOT okay!  So, the timing is the Lord, and I am determined to get healthy again, and BE all HE has created me to be!  I am not losing weight and getting healthy to look good, I am losing weight and getting healthy because the Lord calls us to be!   I am excited, and I know this journey will not come easy, but in the end it will be good, I will be victorious, because I am NOT alone in this journey!

 

I share this information on my blog, because I am real.  I struggle. I have sins. I need help.  I need encouragement. I desire to encourage. I desire to share the hope I have.  So, here goes this journey.  Are you ready to take it with me?  I will share the good.  I will share the bad.  But I know in the end, this will ALL be worth it.  HE is WORTH my ALL!  Of this I am certain!

 

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him!”  James 1:12

 

Glimpse of my plan:

Monday-Friday: Healthy breakfast, eat lunch at 11, snack at 3. Dinner is a protein shake. No munching between, no eating after 7.

Saturday and Sunday: Healthy choices, moderation, CHOOSING not to eat after 8 PM.

Exercise: get as much of it as I can.  Choosing to move! (walk on lunches, workout on days I can, MAKING time for it)

That’s it. 

 

Here we go!

Scrub top with hearts on it...no accident...

So, I am now three weeks into my new adventure…only four weeks left to go…and let me tell you GOD IS AW-MAZING!!!  I am beginning to see that I am not taking this class for me, but for the people associated with the class, the instructor, the clinicals, the residents of the clinicals, the employees of the clinic…the LORD is moving in cool, incredible ways and I am so thankful to be part of HIS plan!! 

 So, the first night of class I met a gal names Kayla, and through our short conversation I was able to bring up the Lord, and the door was opened.  Class continues to go well and I am getting to know these gals better, praying for more opportunity to share HIM with them.

Clinicals…my first one, yesterday…6 AM to 2:30 PM…YIKES!!  I went into the day praying, excited, yet a bit apprehensive.  I was introduced to Mikela.  She would be the CNA I would follow.  The morning started fast and furious and I quickly wondered ‘What in the world am I doing here?’  This was out of my league; this was OUT of my comfort zone.  Where is the nearest exit without an alarm on the door?!  I was trapped!  Well, talking with the Lord through it…I continued to follow Kela around, watching how she did everything.  Soon, I got into the swing, and started understanding more of the tasks.  Well, it was extremely interesting the whole day, and I will spare you details, but my heart went from wanting to escape to grasping just what was at hand.

 These were adults, grown-ups, people who have lived life.  Instead of being impersonal people we were doing a task for, these residents quickly grasped my heart.  To have lived an independent life and now, whatever the circumstances, they were in a full care facility.  They depend on the staff to get them up, to help them use the bathroom, to get them to breakfast, to assist them to rest/nap, or head to the next activity.  These people are completely and utterly dependant on ‘us’ for their daily living needs.  My heart was now sympathizing with them.  What humility to be a grown man, on the toilet, waiting for the assistance to get cleaned up, and back in his wheel chair. To have been living in freedom and now at this point in life; dependency.  My heart realized I have the opportunity to make this a brighter day for them. 

WOW.  The day went on and I was able to get to know the CNA I was with a little better.  The end of day one clinicals, started rough, but ended with a changed heart and an excitement for day two.

Day two.  What great joy it was to see some of the faces of the residents, and to continue to get to know their quirks, their joys, etc…the challenge of bringing smiles and joy was accepted!  My outlook of how the task was gross when I started day one was changed to: this is a task that someone needs to do, for they are unable to do it for themselves now, but I can do this knowing how much they appreciate it.  Knowing they are completely and utterly dependent for the care and mercy we give them, their care givers.  They can’t hide anything, they are naked before us, there is no shame in it, it is what it is.  There are no pointing fingers. There is no laughing at them.  There is beauty in the pure, vulnerable position they are in, counting on us for safe, helpfulness, and caring of their needs.

A highlight of day two was the moment Willard smiled, and said, ‘sing another one!’  You see Kela loves to sing and it is a light in those dreary halls.  It was the end of day one when I harmonized with her that she looked at me and said, ‘what was that you just did? Did you just harmonize with me? You sing?’  That moment with Kela opened a door, a connection between us that wasn’t already there.  We had a new connection, and a bond.  So, day two, towards the end of our shift, we were in the bathroom with a gentleman and she started singing a hymn.  I thought to myself, here it is, here is the opportunity!  I knew the hymn, and I knew the harmony parts, let it go.  Bathrooms have the best acoustics, and it was time to sing some praises to the King, right here and now!  So, I let it out.  Harmony.  It was a precious moment.  SO precious!  The gentleman on the toilet enjoyed it and as we were singing, he commented it obviously wasn’t our first time singing together.  (HA, it was, and it was all the LORD!) Well, his roommate was Willard, and he can be grouchy.  When we started singing, he looked up, and was touched, deeply by the singing.  The song we were singing ended, and he says, “Sing another one please.  Your voices blend SO well together!”  He was half smiling, and there was a glimmer of joy in his heart.  So, Kela broke out in song, ’What a Friend in Jesus’…and the harmony came.  Willard sat there, intrigued by what he heard, and I could see the peace in his eyes with the music. IT was beautiful!!  We walked out of the room singing, and changed to ‘I’ll fly away’.  A couple gals were coming down the hall and commented the same thing…”it isn’t the first time you two have sung together”.  Nope, all the Lord!!  Truly!  What a joy, a blessing to be able to bless those residents with song!!  It was another moment of realization that music breaks through even those tough, hard hearted people like Willard.  And as I mentioned the door with Kela being opened…this opened it wider!  To spare the details, we ended up going out for a bite to eat after our shift was over, and she shared much about her life.  The Lord is working!!  Oh, that I would be faithful.  This friendship is just starting! 

LORD, YOU aw-maze me, and I am so excited to be on this journey.  TO share JESUS through song, and actions.  To love on these people!  To be able to chat with Kela about YOU!  Oh Lord, continue to do GREAT things through me, with me and to me!!  I am honored to be Your child, Your vessel!!  I look forward to the next 4 weeks!  Oh, and I haven’t even written about the Thursday night, March 11^th!  For another time, but ALL God again!!  I LOVE YOU LORD!!  GO before me…prepare me and those You put in my path!!  Glory is all Yours!!   

Expect God.

I am going back to school.  I start March 11th.  I was asked to speak at a women's event.  It happens March 21st.  These are not what I expected my March to bring.  But I have been praying for God to do BIG things.  Am I surprised? I am not.  I am AW-MAZED!  He means more to me than ANYTHING, and I desire people to see HOW much HE cares for each one of us, and with that, how HE desires that we bring HIM more glory through EVERYTHING in our lives!

Father, I do these things not of my power, but of YOURS!  Prepare me for school, soften my heart to build relationships with those in my class.  May You prepare my heart, to speak the message YOU want me to share.  Prepare the hearts of those who will be listening.  Holy Spirit move, Lord, be blessed, and ALL the glory is Yours! I am honored to be used for Your glory!!

Jesus knows me, THIS I love!

Valentine's Day. Eek! Those two words can mean so much, and bring so much hurt and pain for people, and for others it is a day full of excitement and anticipation.

I have been single on this National Day of Love for many years now and the JOY is in me.  It is a day where Facebook explodes with romantic stories, great dates and proposals.  Pictures of candlelight dinners and beautiful arrangements of flowers, and the aroma of those bouquets that outweigh the still shot posted, will be shared for all to see.  And yet, the posts leave out the greatest love story EVER!  “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 And that example is the Father and Son.  God gave His Son for me. For us.  HE loves us SO much, He was willing to sacrifice that which was so close to Him, whom He loves so much, that we would have eternal life WITH Him.  THAT is the greatest love story.  HE, the God of the universe, LOVES me, that ‘before any of my days were written, each one of them was written!” Psalm 139:16.   He loves me that much!  He pursues me daily. He waits for me to call, to chat.  He waits to share with me the great plans He has planned for me.  He desires ALL my heart (Proverbs 3:5&6) HE IS LOVE. 

As Valentine’s Day approaches each year, my heart is filled with excitement and anticipation.  This is a day where people are free to express their love for others.  It is a day that is ‘okay’ to let it be known who you love.  And yet, love should be shown and expressed daily to those you love, and not just limited to a ‘romantic’ relationship.  Anyway, I look forward to see who will get beautiful flowers, what thoughtful things will be done, said, or given to show love.  It excites me.  I wait, but don’t expect, flowers to be delivered to work, but the possibility, of who could have possibly thought of me, brings me joy.  When, at the end of the day, I still have not received flowers, the JOY is still overflowing because I know that the Lord loves me MORE than any person could, than any flower arrangement could express.  His love is everlasting, unconditional, and beautiful!  Yet when I got home, there was a Valentine’s Day package in my mailbox!  It was more than I expected, and the blessed tears hit my cheeks. The precious handwriting of a 9 year old on a pink lace-edged, heart shaped card, said, “Happy Valentine’s Day Becky! love Angellina!”  And the silly pink and purple monkey socks in the package that made it to the post office in time by my mom, spoke volumes of love to my heart.  The Lord blessed me through this little package.  I set it aside and it was show time.  I had 5 gals coming over for dinner.  A dinner to serve, bless, and love on them.

It was an evening full of LOVE.  We oozed love on each other, and laughed.  The Lord brought together this group of ladies, and it was ALL Him.  He first loved us, that we would love one another.  Oh, it was a success. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Valentine’s Day.  It was over.  Love was shared, love was received.  BUT, not without a good fight of the darkness of this world.  My joy, my love was in battle.  Flesh vs. Spirit.  Flesh saying, “where was MY love, who reached out to ME, who showed ME love, where was MY invite.  Does anyone care?”  And I quickly took those thoughts captive, and chose to stand on the promises of God.  He asked me to share the evening with ladies, to LOVE on them.  HE put on my heart who to invite, and HE knew who could or couldn’t come.  HE brought the evening to fruition.  HE provided the meal.  HE was present.  HE joined us.  I had obeyed.  Those gals were/are loved, they know they are loved, they were blessed.  So as I hit the pillow, the JOY had returned, and the lies were fleeting.  I am loved.  I am a Princess, a daughter of the King.  I AM LOVED.  Jesus knows me, He knows my needs.  Love from humans is a blessing, but an EXTRA blessing, for the Lord loves me MORE than any human possibly could, and He is where my hope lies.  What more do I need?  Oh the Lord blessed me this Valentine’s Day. 

Jesus LOVES me, this I know!  Jesus KNOWS me, THIS I love!