COMMENT:
As always, there's good stuff here. But I'm still looking for a bit more hands-on advice. How do you use your struggle "to push you closer to Him"? How do you "surround yourself with people who hope and believe for the same things you are hoping and believing for" when almost everyone around you is married with kids? It's a lot easier said than done.
MY RESPONSE:
After reading the blog and comments, your comment stood out to me. I don't know you, you don't know me, but we obviously share singleness. I don't have all the answers, but your paragraph really hit home with me, it has so many truths in it! SO many! So, I respond to your comment in love and respect!
First, to answer how do you use your struggle "to push you closer to Him"? I still have better days than others with this one, but the Lord is pretty cool, in that He knows our hearts better than anyone and knows just how to draw us closer. It looks different for everyone. I am in my mid thirties, and mentor many younger gals ages 19 through late 20's. The Lord uses these gals in my life in more ways than I can tell you in this comment. But, what I am trying to say is, if you invest in others, be that living example of what a single person living for the Lord looks like, the Lord draws you closer to Himself. Let me share an example; this article. One of the precious gals I mentor sent me the link to this article. Little did she know that very day, I was discouraged and asking the Lord again, 'why am I still single?'. She shot me the link and in her text said, 'YOU are this person to me!' Honestly, tears formed in my eyes the moment I read her text because I knew the LORD was the instigator of this text, and HE knew my heart was needing encouragement at that moment, and used this gal for His purpose! And in that moment, I knew the Lord was drawing me closer to Him by saying, "My child, I have NOT forgotten about you, and look at how I, the Great I Am, is using you in the lives of others at this stage. Be encouraged." And so, in that moment, I drew closer to the Lord, and in my heart said, "Yes Lord, in my singleness today, I will still live for YOU. Thank You for the reminder!" For me, part of drawing closer to the Father, is by investing and serving these other singles.
Second, as far as surrounding yourself with people that hope and believe for the same things...that are NOT married? with kids? They are everywhere...the marrieds with kids and unmarrieds. One thing I have done is prayed for these people, the singles. Yes, I have prayed the Lord would put these people in my path, that I would be able to connect them to others in the same stage of life as myself. And when I have prayed that, I can't tell you the number of people the Lord has brought out of the wood work. People come and go, but it has been a blessing to connect others, to see people looking, desiring, needing fellowship with others in this same phase. (A phase most of us didn't think would last this long) And, to be honest, the Lord has done some pretty funny things. (people getting married out of these fellowships, which causes me to question yet again, why am I still single?! BUT the Lord reminds me that I have a purpose for HIM, that only I can do, this is beautiful, and if that is connecting people for fellowship and friendships, and marriages develop, than I need to keep doing what the Lord is asking me to do) Sorry, I digress. Anyway, I continue to reach out to others in this same boat, I mentor those younger than myself, and through the struggles, through the moments of hurt, the longing of a spouse, I will continue to serve the Lord, trusting His greater plan, even when I can't see it and I am frustrated. For HE knows my heart, and draws me closer to Him in my weaker moments.
Please don't hear me wrong either, this is not all butterflies and rainbows. My heart hurts too. But, when I have the chance to encourage someone with what the Lord has done for me, being single in my 30's, I am all over it! God put believers here to encourage one another, to challenge each other, and to share life together! I could share more stories of the ups and downs and I love to write so I apologize for the lengthiness of this, but will refrain from sharing more God stories. :)
So, I will end with this: Be you. Be the YOU God, the Creator, made YOU to be. No one else can be who you are, do what you do, see what you see, love like you love. And through it all, find a way to bring glory to God, in the joyful times and in the sorrowful times! Today, for me, that means even in my singleness I will try my best to bring glory to the LORD!
"I will BLESS the LORD at ALL times; HIS praise shall CONTINUALLY be in my mouth!! ... Those who look to HIM are RADIANT, and their faces shall NEVER be ashamed!" Psalm 34:1; 5
Hello Mtraindrop. So good to know you through your profile on the blogger and I am also glad to stop by your blog "One Thing" and the post on it "Singleness". So encouraging to trust the Lord, spiritlifting, strengthening and bringing comforts to the one's who are going through same phase of life. I am blessed by your exhortation to the one who sougth your counsel. I am in in the Pastoral ministry for last 35yrs and I know the struggles of such singles in my church. Me and my wife bring all of them before the throne of God seeking best for their lives. They all are in between late thirtees and late fortees. They all have desire to get married. I am from Mumbai, India and here because of arranged marriages parents take initative and always take the help of PASTORS. Grown up children when they do not get maried often blame their parents even if they try their best to find appropriate matches for their children. I did take some seminars on the topic finding suitable (God's choice) partners and even gave example of Paul who did not get married and it may be God's willl that called has called some to be single. This truth is hard to accept when you desire to get married. I am sure that God has purpose when things do not happen as we thing should happen. Another possibility could be why not go for cross cultural marriages where God leads us in a different direction. I am an advocate of Cross cultural marriages and I do take initative in such matters when some young people show me interest in corss cultural marriages. I do help them and would be happy to help in such cases where cross cultural marriages can take place for the larger plan of God. One should be open for such leading. Well Mtraindrop I want to share with you a program our church has for the young people as well as adults from the West. As I told earlier I am in the Pastoral minsitry for last 35yrs in the great city of Mumbai a city with great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the broken hearted. We also encourage young people as well as adults to come to Mumbai on a short / long term missions trip to work with us in the slums of Mumbai amongst poorest of poor during their summer vacation. We would love to have you come with your friends to work with us in the slums of Mumbai during your vacation time. I am sure you will never be the same. You can minister to our youth and lead the worship service and strengthen the women's fellowship. May the Lord guide you as you seek His will. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. Looking forward to hear from you very soon.
ReplyDelete