True Friend

Lord, right now I am beyond frustrated with people.  Oh how I want to throw my hands up, shut everyone out, and be done with them.  It is REALLY interesting to sit back, and to have stopped with Overflo back in March, and I can count on ONE hand how many times I have been invited to something.  Really?!  Yes, I LOVE to put events together, I LOVE to host, I love it!  LOVE!  But, it shows who true, real friends are…because those that are true friends would invite me to join them.  It hurts.  Really?  Am I just used as a gathering place, used as an organizer to put these things together, and a common place to meet with other people?  And when I don’t put it together, am I not worth of inviting?  I don’t want sympathy invites either.  I just want it reciprocated!  Ugh, why?!  And on the flip, cause YOU O, LORD, have the last say every time, whether I agree or not…would be to stop wallowing in this misfortune of other peoples lack of awareness, and rejoice in the fact I am able to use the home the Lord gave me, the gift of hospitality the Lord gave me, the gift of organization the Lord gave me, to join people together, to open the door of opportunities for people to get together.  Ugh.  Yes, I get it Lord, but where’s that ‘true’ friend?  The one that is open in the joyful, happy times, and the one that is just as open when times are tough and rough.  Where is the friend that laughs AND cries with me?  Where is the friend that invites me as much as I invite them?  Oh Lord, I know You fit all of these descriptions beyond my beyond. I am grateful. My expectations should be lowered.  For only You, will NEVER let me down. You always invite me to spend time with You.  You cry when I cry, You laugh when I laugh, You listen all the time.  Lord, You are my everything.  I should be grateful, and continue being what You have asked me to be.  A true friend to others.

Thanks Lord!

Is Dancing a sin?

Recently I was told at a wedding I attended, by a friend in a joking manner, that dancing is a sin. So, I asked this person to show me where in scripture it states dancing is a sin. As we parted ways, I Peter 1:13-16 is the passage they shared with me to look up and read about dancing being a sin. So, below is the scripture and my conclusion of whether dancing is a sin or not.

I Peter 1:13-16

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in ALL you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy'.”

So, here we go:

Based on this scripture, it states to prepare your minds for action, be self controlled and as obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  Here are some definitions to clear the air about what words means:

Prepare: make ready.

Self Control: the ability to control oneself, in particular one's emotions and desires or the expression of them in one's behavior, especially in difficult situations.
Obedient: complying with orders or requests; submissive to another's will.
Evil: profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity.
Desires: a strong feeling of wanting to have/do something or wishing for something to happen.
Ignorance: lack of knowledge or information. No knowing.
Holy: dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; sacred.
All: the whole of one's possessions, energy, or interest.
Feel free to re-read these definitions when referenced below.

Ready?  Digging in, starting with the beginning of the passage: prepare your minds for action, to be ready to move.  Action isn’t staying in the same place.  It is evaluating and changing.  So, dancing…is it sin?  Well I start with self control, to control oneself, yes.  But that is relevant….as each self-controlled person can look differently. Some people being stricter than others in their self-control yet, there is always room for growth, and others, appearing to be relaxed in their self-control.  So, one could think that controlling oneself in the realm of dancing, could be interpreted as NO dancing.  That right there is self-control.  Just say no.  But, scripture doesn’t directly say NO dancing.  So then one might pick up on “evil desires” and it could be miss-interpreted: dancing is an evil desire, therefore use self-control and don’t dance.  However, it still doesn’t directly say that dancing is evil, or is an evil desire.  So we cross reference into God’s Word deeper, to other scriptures which talk about dancing. 

In the book of I Samuel, it talks about the people dancing when Saul slayed thousands and David slayed tens of thousands.  Ecclesiastes talks about a time to mourn and a time to dance.  Jeremiah specifically states: “Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and OLD as well.  I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”  In Psalms there are many places that talk about dancing, unto the Lord.  And then, there are the passages where dancing isn’t such a joyful experience: in Mark it speaks of a seductive type of dance a girl did to be tricky.  However, again, on the positive side of dancing, Judges talks of where young women were dancing as a celebration.  And again in 2 Samuel, David danced before the Lord with ALL his might.  And people despised him because of his leaping and dancing before the Lord.  And the case in Luke where there was music and dancing for the lost son whom had returned.  The positive examples of dancing are in some sort of form of celebrating or unto the Lord.  There is a purpose for this dancing, and it is glorifying and honoring.  The negative dancing is seductive, and leads to betrayal.  Not glorifying to the Lord.

As you probably are already aware, there is a mix of types of dancing described in the Word of God.  And I would conclude, based on the variety of scripture that not ALL dancing is a sin, and you look at the heart of the people participating in the dancing, and there is where the issue lies.  Moving back to the I Peter passage, to ‘evil desires’, evil desire is in one’s heart.  It is the motive, the heart of the issue.  What desires does the heart have in the style of dancing one is participating in? Well, it says ‘do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance’.  So, once one comes to know the Lord as their personal Savior, their eyes and hearts have been opened to the Truth, and one should no longer desire the ways of the world, which are evil.  So, the ‘desires’ that were there should change. And to prepare our minds for action, we should be ready to receive this change of the Lord. This takes me to the next point, living for the Lord, called to be holy.

This particular passage ends with “Just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in ALL you do; for it is written; ‘Be holy, because I am holy’.”   Well, that sums it all up.  We have been called to be holy, as HE is holy.  And to be holy in ALL we DO.  (Re-read the meaning of ‘holy’ and ‘all’) this doesn’t leave much room for misinterpreting.  It says to be HOLY in ALL you do.  ALL you do, which would be dancing, working, tattooing, drinking, relationships, etc. Does the activity to which one participates in produce holiness?  Is one holy when dancing?  Which then also opens another can of worms?  Example: attending a baseball game.  Since we are to be holy in ALL we do.  Is attending a baseball game then a sin? Is it helping one to be holy? This could be a legit argument!  Which then I ask, what in the world are we allowed to do, for this world is full of ‘unholy’ activities.  And I am reminded by the part of this I Peter scripture that says, ‘Set your hope FULLY on the grace to be given to you WHEN JESUS CHRIST is REVEALED’.   As Jesus is revealed, grace is given for the desires I succumbed to before He was revealed.  Since He has now been revealed to us, our desires change to be holy, making righteous choices. And when we came to know the Lord, our minds were then being prepared to take action, to be self-controlled in these actions, setting hope on the grace the Lord gives, AS He is revealed.  And as HE is revealed, we are to be obedient children, no longer conforming to the evil desires we had as ignorant people, unaware the Lord had called us to be holy. So now that we are called and know we are to be holy, we can no longer participate in evil desires. So, is baseball an evil desire?  Is baseball evil?  Is dancing evil?  My answer to this would be no.  These ‘things’ are not evil.  It is the desire, the underlying desire which is evil.  Is your desire to attend a baseball game to get hammered?  Is your desire in dancing to seduce someone?  Or is your desire in attending the baseball game, which in itself isn’t evil, to invite someone to get to know them, in order to ultimately point them to Jesus?  That He may get the glory for the action?  Is your desire in dancing to give the Lord glory, because you can’t keep silent about all He is and is doing? The item at hand is NOT the sin.  It is the heart, the desire to do the item which can be the sin. For Matthew5:19 says:  “For out of the heart come evil thoughts-murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.”  Out of the HEART comes the evil.  But then, controversy comes up.  The Lord, has given us free wills, which unfortunately means we will all make different decisions.  It really comes down to the heart of the matter, the desire.  Where is ones heart in their relationship with the Lord?  Are they truly seeking Him?  Desiring to make Him known?  Desiring to be holy, because He has called us to be holy?  If we are, our actions will point to Jesus, and we won’t participate in the things of this world which are borderline ‘evil desires’.  We would flee what looks to be evil.  Desiring to please the Lord should be the goal. Which would conclude, unless ones dancing is unto the Lord, or it is with their spouse, general dancing with other people, is not pleasing to the Lord. And if it is not of the Lord, it would be wrong, which is technically a sin.

So then more questions arise, drinking? Is it a sin?  Scripture says not to get drunk.  So, is one drink wrong?  Well, again, when we are His children, and when our desire should be to please Him, to obey Him, and when He clearly states over and over we are called to be holy, to live holy, to be holy as He is holy, our spirit should so desire to obey, we free ourselves of the questions, we don’t live to push how close we can get before it is ‘technically’ a sin!  As it says in 2 Timothy 2 “Flee the evil DESIRES of youth (before you knew the Lord) and PURSUE (to follow; chase) righteousness, faith, love and peace, ALONG with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart!!” Because of the Holy Spirit living in us, we should desire so strongly to obey and please Him and to live Holy that we don’t even come close to the border of these sins. Instead of pushing the limit, one should strive to to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace!!

There ya have it.  Where is one’s heart?  Truly following and seeking the Lord?   Then that will define your dancing along with everything you do.

“Let them praise His name with DANCING and make music to HIM with tambourine and harp!” Psalm 149:3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

Miraculous happy endings?!

I have come across many miracle blogs in my days, and they bring tears to my eyes to realize the greatness of the faith of these people and the answer to their prayers. And ultimately the power and glory of God through them all! I notice how they praised the Lord even when they didn’t want to, through the journey, and I also notice by the end of the blog their biggest hurt, their biggest fear, their biggest desire is often many times answered, satisfied, or completed. People unable to have children struggle through years of testing, highs and lows and then, praise the Lord, a child is conceived and born. There are people who long to find a spouse and wait on the Lord for years for the right one, experiencing hurts and heartbreaks themselves, and again, praise the Lord, a wedding takes place. And other stories/situations that have a happy ending. Yet, what about those still out there. Still praying, still trusting the Lord, still hurting, but the end of their blog is not a happy ending? An answer to a long time prayer? Maybe it hasn’t ended how they desire or want it to? What about those that still desire so deeply to have children, yet are still in the valley of infertility. What about those whom still want to wake up next to a spouse, that want to grow old with that one special person? Yet still finds themselves alone? What about those blogs? It says to rejoice with those who rejoice and to weep with those who weep. Today, I weep with those who weep.

Questions arise in the hearts of those still praying. Have I done something wrong? Am I praying enough? Am I missing something? Will the answer I am looking for ever come? What’s wrong with me? Compromise? Press on? Give up? Who cares anyway?

And yet, the God I serve is SO mighty, so in love with ME, so desires the best for me, I have to continue to pray. I continue to seek the Lord. I continue to obey Him (not always), but I come back to Him. Many times I desire to take things into my own hands and just do my own thing. But I know this is wrong. For God’s word is truth, and He will never leave me or forsake me. (Deut. 31:8) He cares for me. (1 Peter 5:7) He knew every day of my life BEFORE I ever came to be. (Psalms 139:16) These are BIG truths. And they cover the area of a spouse, of having children; of…you fill in your blank. He’s got me. He’s got YOU! Tenderly, gently, lovingly, He’s got us!! Bad days, good days, happy days, sad days, every day…His joy completes me.

I still long, I still pray, and I still trust the Lord to do with me what He will, and know in my heart, even if my actions don’t always show it, that His ways are best. I will trust, obey and wait. (“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my GOD, in whom I trust.’” Psalm 91:2 “Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in You!” Psalm 84:12 AND “the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise HIM!” Psalm 28:7)

This blog doesn’t end with the happy story of ‘I am in the most romantic relationship with the most godly man ever, and we are about to get engaged’. No. That is not the end of this blog. BUT, it doesn’t end sad either. Yes, I long for that. But today the blog ends with the contentment and joy of the Lord, even when I want to be bitter and mad. The ‘happy’ ending of this blog is that Christ is my all, and whether I completely agree with HIS idea of what is best for me or not, I KNOW in my heart, the plans HE has for me, are the best plans. In my tears, in my smiles, in my pain, in my rejoicing, HE will be my everything! I end with the lyrics to one of my favorite praise songs by Tim Hughes (click on the link to hear the song, and I suggest just closing your eyes and listening to the words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bhJHMoDsdE  I have modified the verses below so they don’t repeat like they would as if we sang it. And the emphasis is mine) Enjoy! 

“Everything” by Tim Hughes

God in my living, there in my breathing

God in my waking, God in my sleeping
God in my resting, there in my working
God in my thinking, God in my speaking

Be my everything, be my everything!

God in my hoping, there in my dreaming

God in my watching, God in my waiting
God in my laughing, there in my weeping
God in my hurting, God in my healing

Be my everything, be my everything!

Christ in me, Christ in me

Christ in me, the hope of glory
YOU are everything!

BE my everything, be my everything!

YOU are everything, You are everything!!

JESUS IS EVERYTHING!!

Rainbow, God's unending promise to us!

ZRT Girl Camping Trip June 20-22, 2014

Ladies, God is good all the time, ALL the time God is good.

I have prayed about this weekend, and I am SO blessed to be here, right here, right NOW, with each of you! I prayed the Lord would bring who HE wanted, I prayed He would speak to each of us as we slowed down this weekend and just basked in HIS creation! No cell phones, no emails, no TV, no media…just each other, AND the CREATOR Himself. I prayed the Lord would show me scriptures to share, songs to sing, and stories to proclaim HIS goodness. And I have to say, going into Thursday morning, I wasn’t confident at what the Lord wanted me to show, to share. Yes, I have pulled different scriptures about Him being our ROCK, which are powerful, and I will share them with you. But as I was heading to work on Thursday morning, the Lord made it VERY clear what HE wanted ME to share with YOU!

You know lately our weather has been pretty rainy, which is sooo good. We have been in drought for years, and so the moisture is much needed! And to see everything so green is amazing! With that the garden I planted needs moisture, the rain water has nutrients that can’t be reproduced by man, and the power of that water is amazing! EVEN though the sun hasn’t shown as much as I think it should to make the garden grow, despite MY thoughts, my garden has BLOSSOMED with this natural, nutrient filled rain water. NOT kidding, things doubled in size in one day! So, as I headed to work on Thursday morning, there in the west sky was a very light, distant, partial rainbow…as I neared Shiloh Rd, it grew almost fainter, but, I dug for my camera and snapped a picture anyway. As I turned onto Shiloh and headed north, the rainbow grew, in brightness and in size. It was about the time I got to Emmanuel Baptist Church, that it got brighter yet! The rainbow was directly over the church! And as I went by, I thought…capture that…capture that picture, the promises of GOD are covering HIS people, His church, ME! But, it was too late, and I had already passed the church, yet I really felt the prompting to get this on ‘film’. So I went to the roundabout at Central Ave, and circled around, yes, I was going to be late for work now, but I needed to capture this on my camera for some reason. As I turned around, the rainbow turned into a FULL rainbow arch! The awe of my Savior grew! I took a few pictures and got back on track to head to work. Well, as I kept going north, God kept increasing the rainbow! It was now a full arch, bright, and a double appeared! As I drove along Shiloh, the dark sky behind the brightly colored rainbow, the glowing green farmers fields in front of it, and then the old barn and broken wooden fence…the picture was sooo perfect, such colors, and beauty. (I did not capture this on my camera as I didn’t want to cause an accident, so this picture will have to stay engraved in my mind.) It was incredible. And I asked the Lord, does anyone see this but me? Anyone?! The Lord drew me to His Awesomeness with this rainbow, and I praised Him…on the radio played, I’m tired, I’m worn, my heart is heavy…which is true, this world is a battlefield for the Believer, and it gets tiring to keep fighting. Yet, these two magnificent rainbows reminded me of God’s promises…one, He will not destroy the earth with a flood, and second, of another one of His promises, He will never leave me, He will never forsake me. EVER. Promise made, promise kept. And that goes for all the other promises in His word…Promises by the Lord our God will NEVER be broken! EVER!

Well, the story doesn’t end there. I got to work still gasping at this rainbow…and I called a gal on the west end to have her take a look at this morning rainbow too…in all of its beauty and to point her to the Creator who made it…and to encourage her to carry on!! That someone else would be blessed by this spectacular sight! She said it made her day. Well ladies, that rainbow stuck around…and around…and around…and around…and around…the arch got shorter, and narrower, but I kept looking to the west to see it…and as it hung around…I was in more awe…and crazy enough… I was able to see that rainbow from the first faint glow of colored stripes at 7:45 until the buildings hid it when it dropped so low I couldn’t see it at 9:15!!! I have NEVER experienced a rainbow that stuck around for an hour and a half! Usually a rainbow is something you catch a glimpse of, watch it for a few minutes, and then it fades away. Not this day. Today the Lord encouraged me and it was as if He said…”Daughter, nothing is beyond me, I am your Living water that nourishes unlike anything or anyone in this world, I am your solid Rock, and you will NOT be shaken when you stand firm on My word, and hold fast to My hand! These are not mere words, but these are the promises I have given to YOU! I do not falsely speak, and I mean what I say. As evidence and a reminder of these truths, today, I gave you My rainbow(s) as a visual, I am here, I promise! And yes, the rainbow faded, but I, I will NOT fade, My truth remains, My promises true. I am your ROCK, lift your eyes up, and keep them fixed on Me!!”

Ladies, our God is our Rock, and as we can hear the river raging OVER the rocks, they do not move. They are solid, (how much more solid is Christ) and the picture of the water washing over them…the Living Water, is also our God. He washes us clean, He sustains us, He fills us, that we would splash this Living Water on others, and be contagious! Christ contagious! So, as I look at this weekend, and the purpose to be refreshed, to relax, to be renewed, the Lord has brought it full circle…for: On Christ the solid Rock we stand, all other ground is sinking sand…for He has washed us clean with and we drink the Living Water, we are refreshed, renewed! Oh, what a glorious picture indeed!! Indeed!

Genesis 1:31 says, "And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was VERY good.  And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day."

Psalm 8:3-6, "When I consider the heavens, the work of HIS fingers, the moon and the stars, which He has ordained, what is man, that Thou dost take thought of him?  And the son of man, that He dost care for him?  Yet God has made him a little lower than God, and has crowned him with glory and majesty!  He does make him to rule overthe works of His hands; He has put ALL things under his feet!"

 

A daughter of the King,

Becky

Life. Ugly. Beautiful. People. Words. Tongue. Faithful?

Today was rough.  My flesh won. It was an ugly battle. In the end, Christ-like love came out, there was one little beam of Christ’s Light, and it grew.  THANKFULLY, HE who is in me is greater…and the VICTORY was ours, together, my Savior and I.  AMEN! 

Work has been extra stressful, and today I snapped.  Yup, Becky Crabtree snapped.  Was it pretty?  NO!  Was it worth it? NO!  Am I proud? Absolutely NOT! Did I apologize?  Yes!  Did I learn my lesson?  I sure hope so!  I don’t want to see the side of Becky for a long time.

Life is tough!  But as I reflect on today, and where I, Becky, went wrong…it is the pure fact I expected an unbeliever to live like a believer!  I forgot to have grace and to see her as a being that doesn’t live for anyone but herself.  She doesn’t know the Lord in a personal way.  She is living for her #1.  I can’t expect her to live any differently.  And I gave in.  I snapped back.  I did not love her.  The grace was not pouring forth.  Selfishness ‘popped’ out of my mouth so quickly.  Wrong. I was wrong. I had to apologize for snapping.  NO matter how she treats me, no matter what she says to me, NO MATTER what, I need to love her.  I need to give more grace.  I need to live as an example of Christ.  And HE did NOT lash out…even when He was hurting, deeply.  He loved. He lived for His Father.  He is the ultimate example.  He NEVER gave up…no matter how strong the negative nagging of this world!  THANK goodness.  Thank YOU Father for the example.  Thank you for the reminder today. For humbling my attitude to apologize.  May I shine Your light.  I am sorry for letting you down!  Continue to refine me. AMEN!

Today starts a new adventure.  This one might not seem super exciting to some people, but to me, it is overdue and I am excited.  This journey will be tough, with MANY challenges ahead!  I will struggle.  I will probably fail at times.  However, I WILL be victorious. 

 

The journey: Live life well! (spiritually and physically)

 

So, what this means is to first, to spend MORE time with my Savior!  Growing more in love with Him, which obedience will follow because of my love and dedication to LOVING HIM!  Second, to eat healthy, and in MODERATION.  This will be tough, because the flesh is weak, which points back to my number one, growing in love for the Lord, obeying His desire, which then I die to flesh.  Oh it is SO intertwined! And lastly, to get active again!  I MISS IT!!

 

Today is day one.  Yes, gung-ho and ready!  The encouraging quote on my daily desk encouragement is fitting:  “May the Lord give you and unwavering confidence that you CAN do ANYTHING HE calls you to do , and it WILL be blessed!”  Oh I have sensed Him calling me to do this for quite some time, but my rebellious heart has gotten in the way, and I quite frankly, haven’t wanted to obey. (how’s that for real & open?  Rebellious?  I should say so!)  But the Lord revealed to me through speaking for the Women’s Spring Fling last month, that when I set my mind to something of the Lord, I desire to do it completely and utterly for Him! And to do it well.  It showed me that ‘I can’!  So, I can get deeper into His word, I can get healthy again, I can feel better, because it is of the Lord.

 

As I have been taking a nursing class, it has also revealed to me just how the body truly works.  IT IS AMAZING!!  BUT, it has also shown me just how I have been abusing my body.  NOT okay!  So, the timing is the Lord, and I am determined to get healthy again, and BE all HE has created me to be!  I am not losing weight and getting healthy to look good, I am losing weight and getting healthy because the Lord calls us to be!   I am excited, and I know this journey will not come easy, but in the end it will be good, I will be victorious, because I am NOT alone in this journey!

 

I share this information on my blog, because I am real.  I struggle. I have sins. I need help.  I need encouragement. I desire to encourage. I desire to share the hope I have.  So, here goes this journey.  Are you ready to take it with me?  I will share the good.  I will share the bad.  But I know in the end, this will ALL be worth it.  HE is WORTH my ALL!  Of this I am certain!

 

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him!”  James 1:12

 

Glimpse of my plan:

Monday-Friday: Healthy breakfast, eat lunch at 11, snack at 3. Dinner is a protein shake. No munching between, no eating after 7.

Saturday and Sunday: Healthy choices, moderation, CHOOSING not to eat after 8 PM.

Exercise: get as much of it as I can.  Choosing to move! (walk on lunches, workout on days I can, MAKING time for it)

That’s it. 

 

Here we go!

Scrub top with hearts on it...no accident...

So, I am now three weeks into my new adventure…only four weeks left to go…and let me tell you GOD IS AW-MAZING!!!  I am beginning to see that I am not taking this class for me, but for the people associated with the class, the instructor, the clinicals, the residents of the clinicals, the employees of the clinic…the LORD is moving in cool, incredible ways and I am so thankful to be part of HIS plan!! 

 So, the first night of class I met a gal names Kayla, and through our short conversation I was able to bring up the Lord, and the door was opened.  Class continues to go well and I am getting to know these gals better, praying for more opportunity to share HIM with them.

Clinicals…my first one, yesterday…6 AM to 2:30 PM…YIKES!!  I went into the day praying, excited, yet a bit apprehensive.  I was introduced to Mikela.  She would be the CNA I would follow.  The morning started fast and furious and I quickly wondered ‘What in the world am I doing here?’  This was out of my league; this was OUT of my comfort zone.  Where is the nearest exit without an alarm on the door?!  I was trapped!  Well, talking with the Lord through it…I continued to follow Kela around, watching how she did everything.  Soon, I got into the swing, and started understanding more of the tasks.  Well, it was extremely interesting the whole day, and I will spare you details, but my heart went from wanting to escape to grasping just what was at hand.

 These were adults, grown-ups, people who have lived life.  Instead of being impersonal people we were doing a task for, these residents quickly grasped my heart.  To have lived an independent life and now, whatever the circumstances, they were in a full care facility.  They depend on the staff to get them up, to help them use the bathroom, to get them to breakfast, to assist them to rest/nap, or head to the next activity.  These people are completely and utterly dependant on ‘us’ for their daily living needs.  My heart was now sympathizing with them.  What humility to be a grown man, on the toilet, waiting for the assistance to get cleaned up, and back in his wheel chair. To have been living in freedom and now at this point in life; dependency.  My heart realized I have the opportunity to make this a brighter day for them. 

WOW.  The day went on and I was able to get to know the CNA I was with a little better.  The end of day one clinicals, started rough, but ended with a changed heart and an excitement for day two.

Day two.  What great joy it was to see some of the faces of the residents, and to continue to get to know their quirks, their joys, etc…the challenge of bringing smiles and joy was accepted!  My outlook of how the task was gross when I started day one was changed to: this is a task that someone needs to do, for they are unable to do it for themselves now, but I can do this knowing how much they appreciate it.  Knowing they are completely and utterly dependent for the care and mercy we give them, their care givers.  They can’t hide anything, they are naked before us, there is no shame in it, it is what it is.  There are no pointing fingers. There is no laughing at them.  There is beauty in the pure, vulnerable position they are in, counting on us for safe, helpfulness, and caring of their needs.

A highlight of day two was the moment Willard smiled, and said, ‘sing another one!’  You see Kela loves to sing and it is a light in those dreary halls.  It was the end of day one when I harmonized with her that she looked at me and said, ‘what was that you just did? Did you just harmonize with me? You sing?’  That moment with Kela opened a door, a connection between us that wasn’t already there.  We had a new connection, and a bond.  So, day two, towards the end of our shift, we were in the bathroom with a gentleman and she started singing a hymn.  I thought to myself, here it is, here is the opportunity!  I knew the hymn, and I knew the harmony parts, let it go.  Bathrooms have the best acoustics, and it was time to sing some praises to the King, right here and now!  So, I let it out.  Harmony.  It was a precious moment.  SO precious!  The gentleman on the toilet enjoyed it and as we were singing, he commented it obviously wasn’t our first time singing together.  (HA, it was, and it was all the LORD!) Well, his roommate was Willard, and he can be grouchy.  When we started singing, he looked up, and was touched, deeply by the singing.  The song we were singing ended, and he says, “Sing another one please.  Your voices blend SO well together!”  He was half smiling, and there was a glimmer of joy in his heart.  So, Kela broke out in song, ’What a Friend in Jesus’…and the harmony came.  Willard sat there, intrigued by what he heard, and I could see the peace in his eyes with the music. IT was beautiful!!  We walked out of the room singing, and changed to ‘I’ll fly away’.  A couple gals were coming down the hall and commented the same thing…”it isn’t the first time you two have sung together”.  Nope, all the Lord!!  Truly!  What a joy, a blessing to be able to bless those residents with song!!  It was another moment of realization that music breaks through even those tough, hard hearted people like Willard.  And as I mentioned the door with Kela being opened…this opened it wider!  To spare the details, we ended up going out for a bite to eat after our shift was over, and she shared much about her life.  The Lord is working!!  Oh, that I would be faithful.  This friendship is just starting! 

LORD, YOU aw-maze me, and I am so excited to be on this journey.  TO share JESUS through song, and actions.  To love on these people!  To be able to chat with Kela about YOU!  Oh Lord, continue to do GREAT things through me, with me and to me!!  I am honored to be Your child, Your vessel!!  I look forward to the next 4 weeks!  Oh, and I haven’t even written about the Thursday night, March 11^th!  For another time, but ALL God again!!  I LOVE YOU LORD!!  GO before me…prepare me and those You put in my path!!  Glory is all Yours!!