Lord Change me!

Oh how the Lord is good!  I was in a mood to stay to myself today.  Which can be a good thing for others at times too, but the Lord was working on me all the way to church! “Today, I need you, my child, to reach out.  Look beyond your selfish self and bless someone.  Keep your eyes open, and be ready.”  I heard what the Lord said to me, but I was not yet in agreement.  I talked with a friend on the phone all the way to church and was still in the mind set to be a monk.  A loner.  By myself. Alone. Un-social. Well, I walk into church and sure enough, the Lord started!  I dear friend of mine said, “Oh what it must be like to be Becky and be able to bless so many just by walking in a room.”  I responded to her.  ‘Oh, if only you knew this heart of mine!  It is ugly and I really just want to be all by myself, but the Lord won’t let me, and I have to get over it!’  She gave me a hug and we both plodded on, to get over ourselves.  However, I kept fighting the Lord! I delivered some goodies to the sound booth workers, and as I stood there, alone I figured I would sit right there, alone, in the balcony!  I can worship the Lord right there.  Ahh, no, I forgot a bulletin.  I need that for the sermon to take notes.  And as I thought to myself go get one and come back up…the Lord said it again, “Go, and get over yourself…NOW!”  So, I grabbed my purse and bible and headed back down the stairs.  I was greeted by one of my favorite ushers, received my bulletin and headed in the sanctuary!  I found a seat near the back, and soon my second ‘parents’ joined me.  It was a blessing to sit with ‘family’, it was what I needed.  The worship was honoring to the Lord, and I still didn’t know what was about to hit me!  The sermon was great, and a convicting message on DOING for the Lord!  My faith does.  Which is NOT: alone, by myself, solitude, selfish.  It is for others.  WOW!  Ya, convicting.  Well, after the service as I was chatting with friends, a co-worker, whom I have been praying for was walking in the center aisle!  I excused myself and hurried after him.  PRAISE the Lord he was at service!!  GO God!!  Then…after saying hello to him, I chatted with another girlfriend.  Well, as the Lord’s timing would have it…this girlfriend asked if I knew Brittany.  I said yes, and she continued on sharing with me that Brittany had spoken with some key people regarding baptism, and it sounded like today was the day!!  (Oh the Lord was beginning to get through this hard heart!)  I hurried around looking for the right people to ask and get in touch with; I wanted to be there for Brittany!!  She has talked about baptism for a few weeks now!  Finally after here and there, I headed back stage!  Just as they were walking onto stage, I dropped my purse right there and rushed after her!  Just in time…she was climbing into the tank!  Oh, down she went and up again!  PRAISE the Lord!!  She came out; dripping wet and I hugged her as we headed to the changing room. Virginia and I prayed with her and she changed out of her wet clothing.  She was overwhelmed.  Tears of nervousness with tears of joy!  She said to me, teary eyed, “I didn’t even go all the way under.”  I said, “Brittany, that doesn’t matter!  YOU obeyed the Lord!  You did what HE asked you to do!”  To which she replied, “Yes, I have been wanting to, but in the right timing, today I just felt was right.  I did it because the Lord said to, not because anyone MADE me, or that I had to, but because the Lord asked me to!  I asked the Lord to become my Savior when I was little, but this is what I needed to do, to proclaim to everyone I am a follower!  And, there were three million people out there!”  Oh, Brittany!  She is a gem, a treasure, obeying what the Lord is asking of her, her heart is growing and it is SO beautiful!  We chatted some more, before saying goodbye.

Lord, this is what you NEEDED me for today!  YOU had a plan!  And I was selfish, I almost missed the blessings!!  To see Randy AT church, to be able to pray with and encourage Brittany as she just proclaimed the best decision in her life…YOU AMAZE me Lord!  I am sorry for the heart, the ugliness that I possess!  Thank you for working out the details, and HUMBLING me to be able to experience the blessings YOU had in store all along!  And as the sermon questioned: ‘Am I in the center of God’s will?’ Father, the answer to that is YES, but the deeper question for me is…am I living IN it to the fullest ability?  The answer to that…was NO!  I need to grasp, embrace, to take hold of ALL You have handed me! It is an honor and a privilege to do what YOU ask!  Why am I so selfish?!  Continue to mold this heart.  Refine it to PURE gold.  Remove the ugly ‘Becky’ parts.  Make me to reflect more of YOU! 

Thank you for the reminder today, and the blessings that came from it!!  YOU are worth more than I can be or give, but thank YOU for never giving up on me!!  I LOVE YOU LORD, with ALL of me!