After going back and forth with this blogger...another gal piped in and this is my response to these gals:
WHOA ARE WE!!!
Since when did any of us DESERVE or have a RIGHT to be married?! Where in scripture does it say we will get married and live happily ever after? Where does it say that we will have that ‘one’ special person in our life to share with until the Lord calls us home?! Where?!!?
I am tired of single people wallowing in their singleness, desiring what is on the other side of the fence. TRUE JOY and CONTENTMENT come in serving the Lord our God, Maker of heaven and earth!!! Seriously…our VERY existence, our very purpose for living is NOT for our own joy, (or marriage) it is to live to make HIM known! To point people to Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Life!!! For some people this is married, HALLELUJAH! For some people married WITH kids, HALLELUJAH!! For some people, married with NO kids, HALLELUJAH!!! For some people this is a longer season of singleness, HALLELUJAH, and for others, singleness until the Lord returns, and that should still cause for a HALLELUJAH!! Our purpose and desire of the heart should be TO be so in love with Christ, to desire to know Him MORE and MORE and MORE and MORE, and to make Him known through our actions, that however the Lord determines our future, we give Him praise for it! Don’t get me wrong. MY HEART HURTS, and many tears have fallen over still being single!! I want to be married!! And I was almost married!! Let me get a little personal with you: I was engaged to a man, and only a couple months from the actual day of getting married to the one I loved, cherished and knew so well, the Lord made it clear, this was not right. I can’t describe to you the battle that went on in my heart over this! ‘Get married…you can just push aside what the Lord desires…and you can push your way through this marriage, just buck up! You will at least have the American dream…a marriage!’ Those were my thoughts! Well, I battled with the Lord on this and my flesh SO desired to be married, SOOO bad!!! I almost went through with it! But let me tell you the reward came (NOT without great sorrow, hurt, and tears) when I submitted my heart to the LORD, and did what HE wanted me to do…call it off! Do you know how many people had already bought gifts? Someone even made us a wedding quilt! DO you know I had my dress, flowers, etc…do you know what it is like to disappoint THAT many people? Not to mention this man with whom I had planned out the rest of my life with!! It was SO hard! So hard! And yet, I will NEVER forget the Peace, the peace that passes ALL understanding that I felt when I obeyed the Lord!! When I finally obeyed! Let me tell you: the blessings through that time and that followed, even years later are countless, after the heart ache of course!! And ladies and gentlemen, since that step of faith and obedience over 12 years ago, I can honestly say, with tears of JOY, I wouldn’t change the outcome for the world!! WHY!?? Because my Savior SO loves me and draws me to Himself EVERY day, and His plan is best!! Did it hurt? Absolutely!! Was it hard? Absolutely! But now, I have the choice to live joyfully with where the Lord has me, or I can live bitter, wishing every second that I was married to that man. And, I will say, until the day I die…I choose Christ first!! Even through that pain, I would choose to obey Christ again, than to not be where the Lord wants me. Married or not. My point being, serving and living for Christ first, is worth more than ‘being married’. And by all means, you can still serve and live for the Lord married, but don’t let what you don’t have hinder your serving and living for the Lord! Yes, my nephews ask me why I am not married! Almost every time I see them! My 9 year old sister asks me why I am not married. And you know my answer? It points right back to the Lord. “The Lord hasn’t brought me a man, that as a team, we can continue to build the kingdom. But as I wait, I serve the Lord.” And then of course I jokingly ask them, “Do you know someone for me?!” And they giggle!! And you know what…what an opportunity to be a living example of Christ to these young lives!! To be able to show that living for Christ is better than to settle for the wrong guy! Don’t get me wrong. I want badly to be married! I literally, in my home, imagine what it would be like if I had a husband to cook dinner for. I imagine him coming home from work, planting a kiss on my forehead and asking about my day. I imagine dropping by a special lunch to his place of work, and I even imagine those tiffs we would have over the silly toilet paper roll…and I desire all of that. I want that. And yet this season of singleness is such a blessing to reach out and bless others. And through doing that, the blessings that come my way are immeasurable!! GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD!! EVEN in my singleness. The desire for marriage is there, but I choose to live in JOY as a single, today!
So my suggestion? Whether you take it or not…grow closer the Lord our God. You can’t go wrong getting to know HIM more and more. And HE WILL give you the desires of your heart…because HE will change those desires to line up with HIS, which are the best ones, EVER!! For me, my desire is to please and obey Him, no matter what! I hope and pray that that includes marriage one day, but because my desire is to please Him, that really is an after thought of loving Him, and making Him known!
My challenge: reach out to other singles that might be feeling the same way as you, reach out to the single elderly lady that needs encouragement, reach out and bless those around you. Cause do you want to be known as the ‘single person who is stuck in moping’ or the ‘single person that lives beyond themselves’ serving and living whole heartedly after God? And really when we meet our Savior face to face, it’s NOT going to be a question of: “Did you get married?’ It will be: ‘How did you serve ME?’ (single OR married) This doesn’t take away our hurt or our wants, but it changes our perspective!!
Psalm 62:5 “Find rest, O my soul, in God ALONE; my HOPE comes from Him!”
And, from one single to another, I am praying for YOU!!
Love and prayers,
Beckie
